I’ve never been the type of girl who’s obsessed with having babies. I’ve always known that I wanted children at some point, but I’ve never been in a hurry. I always just figured that someday, I’d begin to feel some maternal longings and then Daniel and I would work on making some babies.
I was right about the maternal feelings kicking in. Twenty-five is apparently the magic age for me, because they started right after my birthday in April. Daniel and I had our first really serious talk about starting a family, and for about a week we were excited because we thought we might start trying this fall. Then we came to our senses and realized that it wasn’t the best plan, since we’d be living in separate places.
Suddenly, it feels like I’m surrounded by babies or babies-in-progress. I’ve been involved in conversations about giving birth, breastfeeding, and changing diapers. Now, I might just be extra-sensitive because I have babies on the brain, and maybe conversations like this have always taken place around me and I’ve never noticed, but sometimes I get these weird little pangs in my heart. It’s such a foreign feeling.
I’ve been bringing this before God consistently, and He has soothed these longings to the point where I can enjoy feeling maternal, instead of being sad because the timing is off for us. Daniel and I are trying to joyfully look forward to the time when we can start our family. In the meantime, there’s still plenty of life to be lived.